After having false labour just a week and a half before I wasn't too sure I was in labour. I'd been having irregular contractions on the day of the 2nd of August and at 1.30am I woke up to a strong one, thought nothing of it and went back to sleep. At 4.30 yuri got up for work and I told him I'd been having contractions through the night but I'd let him know if they were regular and he went to work. I couldn't get back to sleep and realised I was having them every 10 minutes and they were 30 seconds long. I called him and told him and he came home. I messaged Marlene my midwife who said she thought it was my body trying to establish labour. I still wasn't convinced,
By the time he got home at 8am they were 7 minutes apart 45 seconds long and I rested for a bit tidied the house. Yuri made me a Papaya smoothie for lunch and Marlene arrived at 1pm and by the time we had chatted and checked we did an internal, I was already 4cm! I hadn't had a show or any membranes break so we decided to do a sweep. Not long after contractions were coming ever 5 minutes and lasting for a minute and I had a show of mucus, I said it looked like my vagina had sneezed bloody snot. I continued on labouring around my house and the other midwives showed up around 3.45. I got in the shower with yuri and had a few contractions there which felt amazing with the hot water on my belly and back , I was checked again at 6.30 and was only 6cm! I was kind of taken back, I thought it would go faster for some reason! Everyone rallied together to fill the birthing pool for me as we had run out of hot water. This took a while but I finally slid in and it was bliss!!! I wanted to get out after a while and lay down as I was so tired. I laboured on my bed for a while but it got really painful so I jumped back in the pool, I started getting really tired and upset and kept saying I couldn't do it, I kept overthinking everything and really going through a process of authentic acceptance, not just theoretical but in practise. I feel that the active birth workshop and active birth classes I did at yoga baby really helped, I used the vocalisation techniques a lot and breathing, the practising of positions also were a great tool.
The support I received from everyone was amazing. Sara massaged my back and sounded with me, Yuri was my rock, mum soothed me with washers and words, Marlene, Melinda and naomi kept on believing in me when I didn't in myself. The labour stepped up a notch at 11pm when I was checked again and I was 9cm! I seriously thought I was in transition already but no 2 more hours in the tub/out of the tub to go to rotate her around and get into a position to push. I was having an internal battle of wanting it to be over and really being present , surrendering arrogance and worry and parts of my maiden self that were upgrading to mumma mode, at one point I said to yuri when he needed a break(he was so super sick that day) "why are you abandoning me" which was a deeeeep seated fear I think is related to my own birth and then carried with me, needed healing and upgrading.
I was feeling sooooo high, and just being with that was cool, I kept getting sparkles of light which I think were blessings from everyone.
Finally at 1.00 I was dilated and started feeling pushy. I wasn't really aware I had to physically push, I thought my body would do it for me, so for an hour I ignored the feeling to push until naomi came over and talked to me about what was going on in my head and it was thoughts of not being able to do it, that there was something wrong, that I wanted intervention. All of which were absolutely not true just further tests on my journey to birthing my mumma self. She spoke to me about trying to push and I did, I pushed on the toilet, on the floor, in the pool, I hadn't eaten in 12 hours and had really bad reflux, every push made me want to vomit but I couldn't, Yuri was so tired and sick that day but at this stage I said to him I needed him for this part and I couldn't go on without him, and he stepped up 100% she was still en caul so I didn't have gravity helping me. I felt like I could feel her waters but I felt I wasn't getting anywhere (it wasn't true) they suggested squatting which I flat out refused and then a contraction hit me straight and I was like ok let's go and squatted with yuri holding me up this made all the difference, with about half an hour of pushing I was ready to birth her in the pool, the feeling of her head right there in my vagina was so weird, Yuri held me and his strength got me through the end in about 15 minutes of pushing in the pool her head emerged, holy shit! The trippiest feeling in the world that I was just about to meet my daughter and an actual small human had grown in my belly(it was all theory to me until this moment) she was still in her sac, I breathed through another contraction and then her body slid out! What an amazing feeling, I picked her up and the cord had become tangled as I did that, the midwives rushed over and helped me get it off as I brought her up to my chest, relief, perfection, pride. I am a mumma lion and she is my cub, Yuri was saying oh my god and crying behind me but I kept looking at the five amazing women supporting me unable to believe what had just happened! A baby came out of me! 23 hours of labour, and all natural water birth. I had two minor grazes but no other injuries. The whole experience really showed me what it was like to experience the present and not go outside of that. Which I think is perfect training for loving your baby :)
Kirsty-Ann attended our Active Birth Yoga classes and Active Birth Workshop with Suzanne.